For How Long Will I Be Considered Young? | My 20s

So what do you know? I feel a little better. Microscopically better. Instead of thinking about my hurt every second of the day, I probably dwell on it for only 30-40 minutes in an hour. I call it progress. I will say that looking at the mirror not too long ago was distressing. I never realized how badly built I was. Narrow hips. No waist. A blocky stomach. And droopy boobs. Even if I lose weight, I'd still be left with narrow hips, no waist, a smaller blocky stomach, and smaller, droopy boobs. How awesome. Little things have lifted my mood. Yesterday, I went bathing suit shopping at the mall. I was trying one at Hollister and the employee that helped me was without a doubt flirting with me. He was very cute. Had that Indian/Black Caribbean look. He was definitely close to my age but I suspect he may have been younger. Only problem was that I don't even think he was doing this flirty shit he was doing intentionally as if I was anyone special. He's the type of guy that  k...

I began writing a post at the start of the new year and abandoned it for whatever reason. It was about my trip to Nigeria for my grandfather's burial. I still want to finish and post it but my ability to remember things just gets shittier and shittier and I don't know if I want to have to reach into the depths of my synapses just to get upset that there's nothing there. I'm not sure if this is normal or if I should get my brain checked out. I think my brain needs to be checked out for a lot of reasons. Anyway, I have a lot on my mind right now and I need to get it out so that I can get on with my life. Today was a miserable Sunday. But I had a fun Saturday night. I was invited to a pool party by a guy at Harris. He's a white guy that I've always found very cute. He's in the in-crowd of the Harris Young Professionals group, and always open to talk to me. I wanted to convince myself that he was attracted to me but it is pretty evident that he doesn't f...

Unfinished post from some time in February  It's been more than a week since my friends visited me and we had a great time together. I was afraid of missing them too much towards the end of their stay but really, I was so mentally exhausted that I was sort of relieved when it came time for them to leave. I think I've gotten too comfortable with staying by myself that the constant social interaction was weighing on me. But otherwise, I had so much fun with them. I felt like they visited me at exactly the right time. They took my mind off of Jack. They cooked me food. Shannon helped me move my huge fish tank into the bathtub so I can wash it and then helped me put my shower rod up. They also made me analyze the relationships that I've been forming here in Melbourne and helped me realize that I need to stop being such a coon and think of the quality of people that I choose to spend my time with. I think I was getting really caught up in being in the "in" group ...