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A boring post. Just trying to get into the habit of this.

It seems that where ever I go, I find people willing to baby me.

I finally spoke to the Nigerian guy that sits across from me. Well, more like he started talking to me because I'm a fool. Today, we talked about Nigerian food and he asked if I normally ate through lunch. I said, "yeah, I usually just eat simple sandwiches because they're easy". He later buys me a chicken salad from a nearby place. I'm still gushing until now because it was such a sweet gesture from someone I have barely gotten to know yet.

I told Deev about it and she was wondering why people just randomly give me things. John, another guy I work with, brings me mangoes every once in a while and shares his food and drinks with me. I used to read into it in the beginning but I've come to realize he's just really nice. Also, I've gotten lucky that there has always been people in Melbourne to help me whenever I needed it. In college, my friends did everything for me too: made me food, decorated my apartment, fetched me things, etc. My mother used to say people would do things like that for her when she lived in a dormitory because they just liked her. She also seemed to be a sad kid though so I think people felt for her. I feel like I don't come across as that sad, not to mention that I'm a lot older than she was when she was in a dorm.

Anyway, I want to get to know this Nigerian guy more but I feel so awkward and shy around him. I thought he was aloof when he first got moved across from me so that's made me even more hesitant to introduce myself. But I'm not even shy anymore... I just don't want him to see me for what I actually am. Unfunny, awkward, and sort of empty-headed.

So in sad news, my mother contracted shingles. I was so scared when she told me last night because shingles was always one of those terrible sicknesses that only white people in medical commercials had. All I knew about shingles is that it developed in adults who had chicken pox as children. But I never knew my mom had chicken pox in her life. Apparently, she had. She said she remembered her father slathering chamomile lotion on her when she was a kid. I was too scared to search up the symptoms because I thought it was more life-threatening than it actually was. Turns out that it is treatable, but just a terrible disease to have to deal with. I feel for her so much. But I felt like I got a taste of how I would react if I ever got terrible news from home. I don't want to talk about it too much now though because I'm about to go to bed soon and I don't want to delve too deep into the dark corners of my mind.

I had a normal day at work. I was more awake than Monday, when I was inexplicably exhausted. I did wake up early to go to the gym yesterday but I didn't think I got any less sleep than I normally do. So when I got home from work yesterday, I immediately took a long, deep nap and woke up close to midnight. I then went to Walmart around 2 AM to pick up some things I desperately needed in the apartment. I was sort of afraid to go to Walmart at that time. My mom had just told me that I need to be careful when getting in and out of my car because people have been getting abducted. Also, I live in Florida and I don't know what kind of people go to Walmart at this time on a Monday night/Tuesday morning. It turns out that it wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. Because I was up so late, I didn't wake up for the gym today but I needed all those hours of sleep.

I took another deep nap when I got back from work today. I had planned to go to the gym to make up for my missed morning session but my mind wouldn't let me. I really wanted to eat that chicken salad that my cube neighbor bought me and once I consumed that, I wasn't getting out of the apartment for anything else. So about this chicken salad... I thought it was a curry dish before I brought it home. Apparently, it was some cultural fusion of white people chicken salad and curry. Chicken pieces with slices of apple and raisins. It tasted good at first but after a few more bites, I started feeling sick. I should have known I wouldn't have liked it that much. My Nigerian friend picked it up from this food market whose food I almost never enjoy. I'm glad it was free and I still appreciate the gesture so much.

To counteract the undesirable dinner, I finished off half a pint of Caramel Core ice cream. Oh, how I wish I hadn't. I took a nap to ignore my guilty feelings and woke up to cook some vegetables. I bought sooo many vegetables on Sunday and I'm afraid they'll all spoil because I suck at cooking throughout the week and eating my own cooked food. But I'll try my best, I guess.

I just blocked some guy on Snap that I matched with on Tinder a long time back. I thought he was pretty attractive but it was pretty clear that he wasn't interested in anything more than sex. I even offered to at least go out for drinks first so I could get to know him in a public setting. He seemed sort of down but only sort of. I kept him on Snap because I liked looking at his face from time to time and reveled in the possibility of hooking up with him. And then on a horny, drunken night, I messaged him if he was awake and soon after, fell asleep. That piqued his interest. I played along for a week until a few minutes ago. He asked for pictures and I decided I should probably just let this one go because I don't actually want to fuck him. He merely wants me to sneak in and out of his shared apartment for a few hours after the work day. I'm good on that. I have a comfortable bed, titty reddit pages, and my own fingers.

I hope tomorrow I can wake up for the gym without being extremely tired for work. There's a trivia night going on after work that I'm trying to make. It's already after midnight and I feel like a child that doesn't want to go to sleep yet. Someone needs to slap me in the head to knock sense into me. I'm a big girl with a big girl job now. Act like it.

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