So, in my last post, I
neglected to mention that I had been recovering from a hangover after a night
out for my friend's birthday. I took her birthday celebration pretty seriously
as she's my closest friend in Melbourne. I bought her some gluten-free cupcakes
from a real bakery and sent the invites out for the pre-game. I told her I was
already planning on sleeping over. She's been going through a lot recently
because she and the love-of-her-life decided they can't be together. He visited
in December from Scotland and she's only now cleaning up the parts of him that
still linger in her room. She told me that it would be nice to have new
memories on the other side of her bed. I was happy to be that for her.
I feel like I don't remember
much from that night. Since the birthday girl is gluten-free, it was an
all-tequila night. I've never been one to oppose tequila. It tastes so good
with lime and it was slowly becoming my favorite alcohol because of my friend.
It seems that many people have a 'bad tequila night' story to tell but before
that night I had yet to experience that. But let me tell you that the day after
her b-day celebration, I couldn't even hear the word 'tequila' without
shuttering.
In fact, on the following
Sunday morning, I vowed to do a Dry February, but honestly, I suck and one of
my friends is temporarily leaving the company and is having a party this coming
weekend, and I think it is the perfect excuse to almost black-out again.
But I digress.
Five of us went out, but two
of them left early because one of them had a half-marathon to do early the next
morning. So that left me, the birthday girl, and our guyfriend out and about.
The last thing I clearly remember is us talking about our weight, me and the
birthday girl sitting on our guyfriend's lap, and all of us discussing the kind
of people we were attracted to. We left the bar we were in, checked out one
other bar briefly, and then we were ready to go. The initial plan was for the
guyfriend to Uber home from downtown but instead, he went back with us. I can't
tell you why.
We got back to birthday girl's
apartment and that's when things got weird. He took off his shirt and laid in
the middle of the bed. I remember cuddling him a lot, which is interesting
because I recall being a few shots in during the pregame and thinking his body
looked so nice. But apparently, when I left to go to the bathroom, he tried to
kiss my friend and when I fell asleep, he started making more moves on her
(caressing her and other gross things). She told me that she went limp and had
no idea what to do.
So when we all woke up the
next morning, the guy friend announced that he felt weird because he tried to
kiss my friend. It was a bold move of him to put it all out there so soon. I
thought it was awkward and all but I wasn't too surprised because I think we
had all been acting a little weird the night before. But I didn't know the
extent of how bad it truly was until I met up with the birthday friend later on
to discuss it.
It was a classic case of
non-consensual frat-boy behavior and now I feel so disgusted with that
guyfriend. For one, she was just recovering from essentially a break-up and had
given up drinking for her mental health for the entire month. The one night
that she actually drinks and lets loose and this happens??? I'm so upset with
him. But I don't know what to do about it because my friend just wants me to
tell him that she's fine. And if that's her wish, I guess that's how I should
operate too. But the thing is that he is a friend of mine and I can't have a
friend who does bad things to people. I also wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't
let him know that his behavior was wrong. If he was just a random guy that I
didn't care about, I could easily just wall him out and ignore him. And above
all, I just can't understand why this is such a male-thing. Why is it that men
forget how to act when alcohol is involved? I have never heard of any of my
girl friends pulling shit like this on another person. If it's not a clear
"yes", it's a "fuck, no". What is so hard to understand?
Stuff like this makes me
believe that maybe some men truly *are* animals. Luckily, I've been spared by
the fact that because of the circles I've been in, I'm not the object of
affection for most men. I'm not even saying this in a demeaning way, just
matter-of-factly.
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